The Reflections of a Gen-Z Approaching 30.
I have been 30 for a very long time.
Loooooong before I eventually clocked 30.
As I speak to you, I’m not even 30 yet.
But I’ve been quizzically aware of 30 for so long that I’ve almost forgotten to live out my 20s.
I’ve been plagued by the burden of 30 for so long.
And no, not at all in the way society expects, or the way women truly are plagued with ageing, or with approaching milestone ages.
Mine has always been different. The other part that society believes should be a bother has always been within my control.
The part of 30 that has consumed me even in my early Gen-Z status was coming into that scene and realising that I either didn’t know my purpose, or my knowledge of it was hazy, or I was taking non-descript lazy steps on it.
Oh, the terror!
And this burden mostly has reflected in 2 areas of my life: my career and my spiritual life.
I’ve wondered several times, at whether I’ll be the woman I envisioned many years ago as I filled the hard cover book in the Admin building of my new University, a proud recipient of an admission into Law faculty.
Over the years, that woman- what she was doing, what she was wearing, and what she looked like- has undergone several transitions, chippings away and adjustments until she morphed into what she now looks like in my head. But what did not change was the vibrancy in her spirit and that what she was doing mattered.
When I think of 30, I wonder whether I’ll meet that woman or if she’ll still be a distant figment in my head. Worse, would I think her impossible?
And then I think about my spiritual life. I think of how long it would be by the time I’m 30, that I’ve known the Lord, how long I’ve been a student of the Word of God, and how long I’ve had access to certain truths that many my age did not. And I wonder whether I’ll be playing at the size of these revelations when I’m 30.
Lastly, I think about my health and if my current choices would give me the kind of living and health I want.
It feels like 30 is chasing me. Or am I the one chasing 30? Perhaps we’re both running towards each other, hot on each other’s heels; she towards me, and I towards her.
And maybe we'll coincide with each other, bump into each other like a rough chest bump with a stranger.
Or maybe it won’t be so eventful when we meet. Maybe I’ll just realise late that it’s another type of normal day and won’t be so hard on myself for still working hard on the things that define my latter years.
It occurred to me recently that when we say someone is a certain age, it doesn't refer to what age they're living out at the time. It actually refers to how many past years they have seen.
So, 9 years old means I have seen, exhausted, and completed 9 years. I am on the course of the 10th.
Did you think of it this way before?
So now, I'm 28. It means I've done 28 years on earth. I'm on my 29th already.
When we celebrate a birthday, we should probably start adding a definitive plus to the new age.
So I should answer that I’m 28+, even though my birthday is many months away, but 28 is gone already. Might as well forget about it when stating my age and look forward.
But since 29 is not here yet, then I should add plus.
Or perhaps just start declaring that I’m 30. Since I’m so obsessed with it. Lol.
